Crazed and Amused...and Home

DC is everything I remembered and more.

I'm back in a job where I work more than I should and I'm challenged in new ways. I'm learning a new mission. I come home exhausted and unable to explain what I did in a day because to describe it wouldn't do it justice.

My job demands that I travel, but only around the DC-metro area, so I spend more time in my car than in my office. As a result lunch is either a semi-healthy lunch inhaled around 3 PM, or a granola bar (or um...Combos...maybe) that I grab at a 7-11 between meetings and consume, obviously, in the car.

Wanderlust

wan·der·lust [won-der-luhst] noun
a strong, innate desire to rove or travel about.

I lived in the same house from the summer before kindergarten through high school graduation, and came back to that same house for 24 years until my parents retired to the beach. There are too many memories to recall readily though I know they involved hours on the phone, laughter, tears, boy band obsession, and an absurd amount of neon.

I loved growing up in that neighborhood, with the same friends living on my street.  I met so many of them when we entered kindergarten together at 5 years old and (thanks to Facebook) I'm still in touch with a lot of them today.  Throughout college and beyond, I loved to come home to the same house, the same mall, and...Ukrop's.

Because of this, I always thought that I would find a home quickly after I graduated (whether it was Richmond or not...it was DEFINITELY going to be a sweet southern town), marry my high school/college boyfriend, settle down, have kids, and give them a similar experience.

Wow. 

While I'm sure that there are plenty of people who make this kind of firm declaration and follow through, I clearly was not one of them.

Fat Chance

When I was in college, I took a sociology class where, in addition to the usual homework and tests, we had to write four papers.  The theme was the same - how certain characteristics of our upbringing affected who we had become - but we had to focus on a different topic for each paper: gender, race/ethnic heritage, socioeconomic status, and birth order.  It sounds cliche, but I really did learn a lot about myself from doing this exercise.  However, one topic that was NOT addressed, but had a huge impact on who I am today is weight.

Weight.

Like a lot of women I know, I have never been satisfied with mine no matter what it is.

I went on my first diet in elementary school.

My nickname when I was little was a filipino slang term for "chubby." I know my parents meant it as a term of endearment (chubby kids are cute, after all), but it still gave me a label very early on that I tried to overcome.  For me, it was hard enough being one of the only non-white kids in my neighborhood.  I didn't really want to have to deal with being the fat asian kid on top of it.

Those rolls! Cute when you're a toddler, but...

Judging

Just before Spring Break [side note: living in a college town means measuring time by semesters and breaks], I was able to partake in one of the rare joys of being immersed in a college atmosphere.

I judged a talent show.

Now call me old fashioned, but my first thoughts when I hear the words "talent show" are of my first grade solo routine to "Funkytown" choreographed by my then-11 year old sister.  Well...either that or the kid who sang "The Gambler" every single year of elementary school (and perhaps even into middle school) complete with his clear green visor.

BUT I am not that naive, and I know that Talent Shows these days...and in this atmosphere...are far more along the lines of, say wet t-shirt contests in Cabo than Mr. Wizard magic sets that cost $19.99 at Toys R Us.

And so there I was, front row center, flanked by three of the University's finest athletes.

Judging.

So. much. judging.

The heart of it all

I had a blog post all set to go about New Year's Resolutions (and my inability to keep the one that I really tried to keep this year - blogging more often).  It was, in my opinion, somewhat funny, something people could find commonality in, but overall, something that I hoped would entertain.  The problem is that it was taking me WAY too long to finish.  I started it the week after New Year's Day and I kept abandoning it and coming back. I couldn't really get it just right, and it was really bothering me.

Then it hit me. I realized that I was having such a hard time with it because I have been getting away from the reason that I started this blog.