What did I almost have in common with Chelsea Handler, Kathy Griffin and Tina Fey?
Over the summer, I was almost an author of a major publication! Seriously!
Here's the story...early in the summer, an established author put out a call for co-authors through some academic circles. And while the premise of the book was engineering, it wasn't a textbook. Instead, it was meant to be a collection of nuggets of info that one learns as an engineering student.
It was a book about engineering for non-engineers!
Right away, I got excited. I felt like there was SO MUCH that I could contribute to this book. It seemed like the perfect fit.
So I reached out to the author, forwarded him my resume and told him what I thought I could bring to the table. He promptly put me on his short list. What followed were a few weeks (which felt like months) of back and forth, bouncing ideas off of each other. The further we got into the process, the more I felt like I was getting into a relationship.
First, the awkward getting-to-know you phase.
He called and we chatted and learned more about each other. Of course, I tried to charm him with my personality. And while he was a pretty serious guy, he still laughed at my jokes and sounded interested in my teaching philosophy. He's an architect so we talked about how we both had preconceived notions of the other's occupation. I listened to him talk about his journey as an author and why he wanted to write this book. In the end, I hung up the phone and thought my chances were great.
Next, the bliss of the first dates.
First writing dates, that is. I was one of about 5 finalists so for the next step, I had to come up with a few writing samples on the topic that we would work on together. The goal, of course was to see if we had the right "chemistry." I quickly came up with a few ideas and sent them along.
At first, it was great. He had a bunch of suggestions and ideas that he bounced right back to me. We were both excited. I agreed with some of his ideas and disagreed with others, but when I made revisions, I always thought they were vast improvements. We were working together to make ourselves collectively better!
But then the reality of being in a relationship sets in...
I thought my ideas were fantastic and I began to think that this could be my moment of greatness. We spoke a few times and we emailed each other frequently. Every time I gave him samples that I thought could not go wrong, he would come back wanting something more, or something less.
It got harder for me to predict what he would want from me. I would tweak my samples and think that this would be the edit that clicked and he would offer me the job. But after a day or two, he would come back with more changes. I was sometimes confused and other times frustrated by his directives, and I perceived that he was probably equally frustrated and confused by me. We were both still hopeful, but we didn't seem to be communicating on the same plane.
We talk it out...
This was where I kind of felt like I was on The Bachelor. He was having a hard time making a decision so he decided to call all the candidates one more time to talk about where we were in the process. We re-connected. He talked about what I brought to the table that he really liked, but also expressed his concerns over the things that I lacked. His problem was that none of us (his finalists) really were the "perfect package" for him, so he was trying spark that additional something in all of us to see who could rise to the top.
I said that I understood and that I still wanted to make it work. We said we would re-group and I would send him yet another edit that would hopefully show that I could bring that extra quality that he was looking for. Still, I could feel myself getting more detatched.
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| Will I get the proverbial "final rose"?! |
...then I decide to end it
Maybe it was the amount of time the process had taken. Maybe I panicked when I thought of how much time I had already spent on it and I didn't feel like we had made any progress. Most likely, it was because I came to understand that he and I did not have the same vision for this book. And since he was the primary author, I knew that if I did get the job, I would likely continue to be frustrated and confused for the duration of the collaboration.
I love a good challenge so I hated to quit, but I couldn't see the relationship going in a good direction. After much deliberation, I emailed him and withdrew my name from consideration. He said he was disappointed, tried to get me to change my mind, but in the end, he respected my wishes. We wished each other well and moved on.
I hope he found what he was looking for and I am disappointed that I couldn't find the "magic" with him, but it just wasn't a good fit. And so it wasn't meant to be! My brush with (almost) fame was just a brush.
Oh well, there's always that dream to be on Big Brother...
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