The semester is over, the year is almost up and I'm just realizing that this blog is almost one year old! Well... one year from when I remembered that I had a blog. :)
I have been less active this semester and I'm really really going to try harder next year to do more than one post per month. I'm not sure if it's that I'm just used to the shenanigans of students so I don't feel the need to vent about it as much, or if I'm getting apathetic, or even if it's just that I'm more patient.
Truth be told, the semester kind of flew by for me. I am regretful that I feel like I didn't connect with this semester's class as well as in the past and that has kind of bugged me. I'm still trying to pinpoint why it worked out that way and why it bugs me so much.
I've also been very aware of how quickly people are coming into and going from my life, especially students. Again, this is the nature of the job and working in an academic environment, but unlike friends from childhood, high school, college or post-college life, it will be difficult to keep up with most of them. We're not Facebook friends, we don't follow each other on Twitter, and most of them will move on and not look back.
I am insanely curious to know how they're all going to end up. I know that when I was a senior in college, I never could have predicted my life would have gone the way that it has...
I may not have known where I was going to live, but I knew where I didn't want it to be (the north or a big city, obviously)
...and I was SO SURE of what I wanted out of life,
...and who I wanted to be with,
...and of course NONE of that really worked out the way that I thought.
Monday, December 26, 2011
Saturday, December 10, 2011
Loss and love
Well, it's already the end of the semester and I can't believe that I've been so sparse with my blogging. I will try harder next semester! And it's not a crazy story about student apathy that's driving me to blog this time...it's unfortunately another untimely goodbye to an old friend.
Just a few hours ago, I got back from my up-and-back drive to Richmond to bid farewell to Marlo. She is someone that could most accurately be described as a family friend, but she was so much more.
A few blog posts have addressed my childhood and being raised in the filipino community in Richmond in the 70's and 80's, including this one as a tribute to my friend and "sister" A. That post also gives you a small taste of what it was like to grow up with this "family."
It can be hard, even for ProMo, to understand the ties that I have with my Richmond filipino family, especially since I don't go home often. In fact since my parents moved away in 2003, I've only been back a handful of times at best. And since I graduated from high school in the early 90's, there are a bunch of families who have moved in, kids who have grown up, and bonds that appear stronger...and very well may be. But all it takes for me is to go back to the church I grew up in and see all my "aunties" to feel like that little awkward kid with the coke bottle glasses surrounded by love, laughter and lots and lots of food.
Just a few hours ago, I got back from my up-and-back drive to Richmond to bid farewell to Marlo. She is someone that could most accurately be described as a family friend, but she was so much more.
A few blog posts have addressed my childhood and being raised in the filipino community in Richmond in the 70's and 80's, including this one as a tribute to my friend and "sister" A. That post also gives you a small taste of what it was like to grow up with this "family."
It can be hard, even for ProMo, to understand the ties that I have with my Richmond filipino family, especially since I don't go home often. In fact since my parents moved away in 2003, I've only been back a handful of times at best. And since I graduated from high school in the early 90's, there are a bunch of families who have moved in, kids who have grown up, and bonds that appear stronger...and very well may be. But all it takes for me is to go back to the church I grew up in and see all my "aunties" to feel like that little awkward kid with the coke bottle glasses surrounded by love, laughter and lots and lots of food.
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
The Changing of the Guard
Despite my lack of posts through this fall, life has not actually been all that boring. On the contrary, it's been a pretty good year so far! We've had a bunch of house guests (because of football season), I've only gone out of town a couple of times, and most shockingly, I haven't minded sticking around. :)
I have to admit that a lot of this has to do with the changing of the guard of my teaching assistant, or TA. I'm still not sure what it says about me that I relate to my TA's more than my colleagues, but nevertheless, the two that I've had so far have become two of my closest friends.
I have to admit that a lot of this has to do with the changing of the guard of my teaching assistant, or TA. I'm still not sure what it says about me that I relate to my TA's more than my colleagues, but nevertheless, the two that I've had so far have become two of my closest friends.
Saturday, October 29, 2011
Mentors
This week I had the pleasure of going back to Duke, which I always love! I was asked to be on an alumni panel for the engineering school.
Yes, you read correctly. I was asked to be on an alumni panel.
I KNOW. It's crazy right?! I mean, I know I give advice to students almost every day as a part of my job, but usually it's along the variety of "Can you force add me to this class?" or "Which of these advanced electives is the easiest?" or "What do you mean I can't graduate on time?!"
I honestly never thought that I would actually be asked to be on a panel of alumni doling out pearls of wisdom for students on my stellar career. I was a pretty middle-of-the-road student at Duke and I've had anything but a conventional path after leaving there. But it turns out that I have had some pretty useful experiences to reflect on.
One of the questions was about mentors. At first, this one tripped me up a little bit. Without a clear career path, I've never really sat back and thought of who has been most influential in my professional life. I've had some good bosses, but I wouldn't say that any of them really shaped my future. Then I thought of one of my professors who clearly affected my life: Dr. J. He kept me interested in engineering, he was the first college professor to show that he cared, he was a great teacher, and he was respectful, funny, and smart. I had him for 2 or 3 classes and it was in one of these classes that I had my first all-nighter.
Actually it was an all-four-nighter. I was awake for four days. Straight. OK, I took one 1-hour nap and one 2-hour nap in that time, but I was awake for 93 out of 96 hours.
Diet of choice? Doritos and diet snapple.
Hallucinations? Numerous. My friend Cat's favorite was the one where I thought there were fairies all around my room. Yes, I know they weren't real but that doesn't mean I didn't see them.
But it was all worth it. The project I was working on turned out great (even though I sacrificed studying for a final exam or two along the way) and it was probably the most satisfied and accomplished, academically, that I felt in my whole time there. It wasn't because I had my best grades that semester, but because someone showed that they believed in me when I didn't. I was frustrated with the project and Dr. J didn't coddle me, but he knew how to bring out the best work in me. He turned someone who was slightly apathetic into someone who was extremely determined and motivated.
Sometimes our biggest accomplishments and character-builders come from just building relationships and taking time to let people help beyond just directing your work or teaching you facts in a classroom.
From the second I got on that campus as a freshman, I felt a lot of pressure to be successful. And it was such an incredibly competitive environment that it made me question and, frankly, underestimate my own intelligence. My confidence went from shaky to almost zero. That's where Dr. J came in and whether he realized it or not, he encouraged me to believe and see that I was as smart as he thought I was.
I don't know what he's doing now (though I do know that he's no longer in academia) or if he realizes how much he affected my life. My best way to pay tribute to him is to try to pay it forward and try to bring out the best in others. I'm not the smartest teacher that my students will have, but I hope that I can help them be the best that they can be, because you never know when that middle-of-the-road student will be on the verge of calling it quits or thinking that they're less than they are.
Yes, you read correctly. I was asked to be on an alumni panel.
I KNOW. It's crazy right?! I mean, I know I give advice to students almost every day as a part of my job, but usually it's along the variety of "Can you force add me to this class?" or "Which of these advanced electives is the easiest?" or "What do you mean I can't graduate on time?!"
I honestly never thought that I would actually be asked to be on a panel of alumni doling out pearls of wisdom for students on my stellar career. I was a pretty middle-of-the-road student at Duke and I've had anything but a conventional path after leaving there. But it turns out that I have had some pretty useful experiences to reflect on.
One of the questions was about mentors. At first, this one tripped me up a little bit. Without a clear career path, I've never really sat back and thought of who has been most influential in my professional life. I've had some good bosses, but I wouldn't say that any of them really shaped my future. Then I thought of one of my professors who clearly affected my life: Dr. J. He kept me interested in engineering, he was the first college professor to show that he cared, he was a great teacher, and he was respectful, funny, and smart. I had him for 2 or 3 classes and it was in one of these classes that I had my first all-nighter.
Actually it was an all-four-nighter. I was awake for four days. Straight. OK, I took one 1-hour nap and one 2-hour nap in that time, but I was awake for 93 out of 96 hours.
Diet of choice? Doritos and diet snapple.
Hallucinations? Numerous. My friend Cat's favorite was the one where I thought there were fairies all around my room. Yes, I know they weren't real but that doesn't mean I didn't see them.
But it was all worth it. The project I was working on turned out great (even though I sacrificed studying for a final exam or two along the way) and it was probably the most satisfied and accomplished, academically, that I felt in my whole time there. It wasn't because I had my best grades that semester, but because someone showed that they believed in me when I didn't. I was frustrated with the project and Dr. J didn't coddle me, but he knew how to bring out the best work in me. He turned someone who was slightly apathetic into someone who was extremely determined and motivated.
Sometimes our biggest accomplishments and character-builders come from just building relationships and taking time to let people help beyond just directing your work or teaching you facts in a classroom.
From the second I got on that campus as a freshman, I felt a lot of pressure to be successful. And it was such an incredibly competitive environment that it made me question and, frankly, underestimate my own intelligence. My confidence went from shaky to almost zero. That's where Dr. J came in and whether he realized it or not, he encouraged me to believe and see that I was as smart as he thought I was.
I don't know what he's doing now (though I do know that he's no longer in academia) or if he realizes how much he affected my life. My best way to pay tribute to him is to try to pay it forward and try to bring out the best in others. I'm not the smartest teacher that my students will have, but I hope that I can help them be the best that they can be, because you never know when that middle-of-the-road student will be on the verge of calling it quits or thinking that they're less than they are.
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
Going Jersey
I consider myself a pretty nice, relatively even-tempered person. In fact, while I am quite opinionated, I am more concerned about putting people off so I try not to be too loud about said opinions unless I'm really pushed.
I think a lot of that has to do with my dual background: asian and southern. Between the two cultures, I was not really encouraged to speak my mind too much. I was pretty comfortable with that, which was a huge reason why I was hesitant to move to the New York City area. But...
I distinctly remember when that all changed. I had lived in Hoboken and worked in Manhattan for only a couple of months. I was still getting used to parallel parking, maneuvering a mass-transit system and not making eye contact, but the trigger was something fairly innocuous.
I was at a CVS store and as the cashier handed me my change, I said, "Thank you." So far so good, right? Well, she looked at me like I had 3 heads, glared at me and mumbled something back that didn't even resemble "You're Welcome."
I was shocked, semi-insulted, and...about 5 minutes later...really irritated.
And thus began my slow yet steady transition, for the better, I think, of standing up for myself more. That 5 minute reaction time decreased until, very slowly, I became used to giving an immediate reaction that was a little more expressive than a look of shock and hurt. In fact, it can get a little angry. And occasionally, I will go beyond that.
I will Go Jersey.
Long before Jersey Shore became well-known for the almost weekly brawls, I credited living in the NYC metro area with bringing out a certain...pugnacious side of me. It's not that I would intentionally pick fights, but when pushed to the limit, my sweet demeanor could turn. Quickly.
My friends and I started calling this, "going Jersey." It would come out at predictable moments: when people cut me off on the Turnpike, when oglers would get too aggressive on the streets of the city and of course, when people yelled at me.
A classic story of going Jersey happened while I was in, of all places, Baltimore. ProMo and I were passing through on our way south to visit our parents, and after a fun night out with some friends, we decided to get a slice of pizza to eat in the car before we hit the road. Now, at this point my car...excuse me...my Pontiac Sunfire sedan...was pretty banged up from, well, living in Jersey and staying generally parked on the streets.
They call them "bumpers" for a reason.
So there we are, ProMo and I, listening to some rap music, windows down, singing along, eating our pizza and savoring each delicious, greasy bite as if our lives depended on it. Just then a car pulls up ahead and attempts to parallel park in the spot in front of us. Now I know that I was and am biased, but even to the novice parallel parker, this spot was a no-brainer. The driver (a female) seems hesitant. She tries, fails, and re-tries. ProMo and I, in a fantastic mood, are happily cheering her on. She almost has it. I, in the driver's seat and still singing, jamming, and eating pizza, gesture for her to keep backing up. The windows are down in the car and ProMo and I are both saying things like, "keep going! You've got it!"
Actually, she's still having trouble. Our cheerleading is not helping. At this point, her boyfriend gets out of the car to help. Our eyes start rolling. Now all three of us are coaching her.
She is close to my front bumper but this is her best attempt yet at actually getting into the spot. Boyfriend looks nervous. ProMo and I are STILL gesturing for her to keep backing up. Between greasy bites and singing, I'm saying things like, "That's what bumpers are for!" and "My car is crap anyway!" and my personal favorite, "Keep going until you hit resistance! Trust me!"
And again, this was a HUGE spot.
Boyfriend's worried look is slowly turning into a look of annoyance. In my head I'm thinking, "Surely this annoyed and suddenly sour face isn't directed towards me. I'm coaching her, for goodness sake." He then opens his mouth and yells...YELLS!... "MOVE!...BACK!"
ProMo and I are dumbfounded. Silent. Music is still blasting but I am acutely aware of at least 2 seconds of silence as I blink and stare with pizza grease dripping from the side of my mouth.
At that point, I'm not exactly sure what happened. I remember lots of yelling and gesturing (if you know me, you know I talk A LOT with my hands), pointing and cursing from both me AND ProMo. Pretty sure pizza bits were flying out of my mouth too. At some point, ProMo either stopped for a breath or realized what we were doing and stopped which made my final words all that much clearer: "...AND BY THE WAY I COULD PARK TWO F-ING CARS IN THAT SPOT!!"
Now it's boyfriend's turn to stare and blink. He quickly and quietly gets into girlfriend's car and they speed off, abadoning the spot and presumably their dreams of pizza for the night.
It's quiet (except for the rap music), I'm still fuming and ProMo says quietly..."I think maybe it's time for us to move away from Jersey..."
And that, my friends, is what it means to Go Jersey.
I think a lot of that has to do with my dual background: asian and southern. Between the two cultures, I was not really encouraged to speak my mind too much. I was pretty comfortable with that, which was a huge reason why I was hesitant to move to the New York City area. But...
I distinctly remember when that all changed. I had lived in Hoboken and worked in Manhattan for only a couple of months. I was still getting used to parallel parking, maneuvering a mass-transit system and not making eye contact, but the trigger was something fairly innocuous.
I was at a CVS store and as the cashier handed me my change, I said, "Thank you." So far so good, right? Well, she looked at me like I had 3 heads, glared at me and mumbled something back that didn't even resemble "You're Welcome."
I was shocked, semi-insulted, and...about 5 minutes later...really irritated.
And thus began my slow yet steady transition, for the better, I think, of standing up for myself more. That 5 minute reaction time decreased until, very slowly, I became used to giving an immediate reaction that was a little more expressive than a look of shock and hurt. In fact, it can get a little angry. And occasionally, I will go beyond that.
I will Go Jersey.
Long before Jersey Shore became well-known for the almost weekly brawls, I credited living in the NYC metro area with bringing out a certain...pugnacious side of me. It's not that I would intentionally pick fights, but when pushed to the limit, my sweet demeanor could turn. Quickly.
My friends and I started calling this, "going Jersey." It would come out at predictable moments: when people cut me off on the Turnpike, when oglers would get too aggressive on the streets of the city and of course, when people yelled at me.
A classic story of going Jersey happened while I was in, of all places, Baltimore. ProMo and I were passing through on our way south to visit our parents, and after a fun night out with some friends, we decided to get a slice of pizza to eat in the car before we hit the road. Now, at this point my car...excuse me...my Pontiac Sunfire sedan...was pretty banged up from, well, living in Jersey and staying generally parked on the streets.
They call them "bumpers" for a reason.
So there we are, ProMo and I, listening to some rap music, windows down, singing along, eating our pizza and savoring each delicious, greasy bite as if our lives depended on it. Just then a car pulls up ahead and attempts to parallel park in the spot in front of us. Now I know that I was and am biased, but even to the novice parallel parker, this spot was a no-brainer. The driver (a female) seems hesitant. She tries, fails, and re-tries. ProMo and I, in a fantastic mood, are happily cheering her on. She almost has it. I, in the driver's seat and still singing, jamming, and eating pizza, gesture for her to keep backing up. The windows are down in the car and ProMo and I are both saying things like, "keep going! You've got it!"
Actually, she's still having trouble. Our cheerleading is not helping. At this point, her boyfriend gets out of the car to help. Our eyes start rolling. Now all three of us are coaching her.
She is close to my front bumper but this is her best attempt yet at actually getting into the spot. Boyfriend looks nervous. ProMo and I are STILL gesturing for her to keep backing up. Between greasy bites and singing, I'm saying things like, "That's what bumpers are for!" and "My car is crap anyway!" and my personal favorite, "Keep going until you hit resistance! Trust me!"
And again, this was a HUGE spot.
Boyfriend's worried look is slowly turning into a look of annoyance. In my head I'm thinking, "Surely this annoyed and suddenly sour face isn't directed towards me. I'm coaching her, for goodness sake." He then opens his mouth and yells...YELLS!... "MOVE!...BACK!"
ProMo and I are dumbfounded. Silent. Music is still blasting but I am acutely aware of at least 2 seconds of silence as I blink and stare with pizza grease dripping from the side of my mouth.
At that point, I'm not exactly sure what happened. I remember lots of yelling and gesturing (if you know me, you know I talk A LOT with my hands), pointing and cursing from both me AND ProMo. Pretty sure pizza bits were flying out of my mouth too. At some point, ProMo either stopped for a breath or realized what we were doing and stopped which made my final words all that much clearer: "...AND BY THE WAY I COULD PARK TWO F-ING CARS IN THAT SPOT!!"
Now it's boyfriend's turn to stare and blink. He quickly and quietly gets into girlfriend's car and they speed off, abadoning the spot and presumably their dreams of pizza for the night.
It's quiet (except for the rap music), I'm still fuming and ProMo says quietly..."I think maybe it's time for us to move away from Jersey..."
And that, my friends, is what it means to Go Jersey.
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